Such a gloomy, rainy day today. Perfect for curling up and reading a cozy book. Which is the exact plan after my much needed hair cut. The Universe put her foot down this morning when my lil man woke up with a fever of 102. We had tons of plans today...a dentist appointment at 7:30, then to Panera for breakfast, then a little shopping before my hair appointment at 12:30. Instead, I had to cancel the dentist appointment and replace it with a doctor appointment and there was no breakfast at all.
I've been feeling rather inadequate lately. I guess that would be the word. I feel very nonproductive in my goals. I love my job, honestly I do, but the plan was that I would work part time there and when I wasn't working, that time would be spent on pottery. So many things have prevented me from doing that. The weather mostly. Right now in my current living arrangements, the only place for my wheel is in the garage and its been freezing. Spring is coming and I know I'll have more time to work out there, but it's frustrating having to wait for warmer weather to go chasin' dreams. This is a good opportunity to practice patients and remind myself to slow down, that all good things come to those who wait and that this won't always be my situation... but it's proving to be easier said than done. I'm not doing anything to work toward my vision. Only in my mind!
Even though I'm frustrated, I have this peaceful feeling about the whole thing. I know that somehow, everything will work out the way it should. That just because right now things aren't going exactly the way I'd like and I'm not cranking out a piece every hour, that my time will come when it's the right time. We want everything now and yesterday and I am okay with waiting. I'm excited about the future and new possibilities. I just have to stay centered and focus on the now and know that these days are just a means to an end. Not to say that I'm not enjoying these days, because I am. I kind of feel like this is the calm before the storm, and it's ok to relish the quiet times. Some times I get panicky and think that I'm losing sight of the bigger picture. But then all I have to do is be still and the bigger picture is clear as day.
I've been feeling rather inadequate lately. I guess that would be the word. I feel very nonproductive in my goals. I love my job, honestly I do, but the plan was that I would work part time there and when I wasn't working, that time would be spent on pottery. So many things have prevented me from doing that. The weather mostly. Right now in my current living arrangements, the only place for my wheel is in the garage and its been freezing. Spring is coming and I know I'll have more time to work out there, but it's frustrating having to wait for warmer weather to go chasin' dreams. This is a good opportunity to practice patients and remind myself to slow down, that all good things come to those who wait and that this won't always be my situation... but it's proving to be easier said than done. I'm not doing anything to work toward my vision. Only in my mind!
Even though I'm frustrated, I have this peaceful feeling about the whole thing. I know that somehow, everything will work out the way it should. That just because right now things aren't going exactly the way I'd like and I'm not cranking out a piece every hour, that my time will come when it's the right time. We want everything now and yesterday and I am okay with waiting. I'm excited about the future and new possibilities. I just have to stay centered and focus on the now and know that these days are just a means to an end. Not to say that I'm not enjoying these days, because I am. I kind of feel like this is the calm before the storm, and it's ok to relish the quiet times. Some times I get panicky and think that I'm losing sight of the bigger picture. But then all I have to do is be still and the bigger picture is clear as day.
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