I've spent pretty much the entire month of July wallowing in a big ole puddle of self pity. It's disgusting and nasty and I am done. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and worrying myself sick. It's not attractive, it's not healthy and it's pissing me off. It's taken this swift kick in the ass for me to wake up and take a look around and realize what's going on around me. I've been floating around in my safe little bubble here for the past 9 years or so and it's like I was hiding away from life in a way. Hiding from what I really want to do or what makes me happy. All for the sake of safety. I guess in my situation at the time, it was the right thing to do. Being a single mother with not many options.

But things are different and times they are a changin'. I've spent so much time and energy being resentful of this change. So much so that I wasn't able to see it for what it is. This is my chance! It's my time to shine!

I am fortunate enough to find myself in a situation now, where it's okay to take risks. I have way more flexibility and room to explore what it is that I want to do. So instead of seeing this as a tragedy, I'm finally able to see it as the opposite. This has happened for a reason. Maybe it's the universes way of telling me to get my ass in gear and do something good for myself.

I know that getting exactly what I want may take some time and some work and there will be sacrifices in between, but it'll be worth it in the end. So for now, I'm starting from scratch and making the most of it.