gone away from me?

I've been disconnected. To my Self, to my people, to music, to the Universe. I don't like it. I start feeling my old friend anxiety creeping in telling me that I won't be able to re-connect like I was before. And it reminds me of something Elizabeth Gilbert said. I think I even posted it once. About working every day to maintain your happiness. It's a full time job. I forget that sometimes. I get in a daily grind and it becomes the same day after day and I slowly stop doing those things that I need to stay connected and happy and me. She also said in Eat Pray Love, when she finally achieved her first meditation that she immediately panicked that she would never have that feeling again. I dont necissarily feel exactly that, because I feel like I've been let in on the biggest secret ever. I know how to get it all back. I just forget sometimes...when I notice something is off or not feeling right, I'll think DUH! I have to maintain this. Just like a little garden. You gotta pull the weeds every now and again. And you have to water it to make it grow. And spiff it up from time to time. That's all.

In all honestly, I think Dexter is to blame for this momentary lapse of bliss. I have been so addicted lately that I haven't even really been living life. I've been living in Miami with Dexter Morgan 24/7. I'm a little sad, truthfully, that I'm all caught up but grateful at the same time that maybe now I can get out and live a little. I just need a little stimulation.

Random, but I just checked the ipod and curiously, this is the most played song.



Interesting. I do love this song with all my heart of course, but not what I thought would have been the most played song. Nice little surprise.